Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7, NIV)
It’s hard to “not be anxious” when my mind naturally drifts to the logical consequences of each possible circumstance. Well, to be honest, not all the consequences are logical. Still, I’ve taken numerous personality inventories and strengths assessments and they all said the same thing: I’m someone who looks to see how everything works together, recognizes the patterns, and makes strategic adjustments in order to achieve desired results.
For a business, that’s incredibly valuable. Balancing risks and benefits is one of the most important elements of business investment and growth. But in life … there’s got to be a way to just turn that off sometimes. Especially when the possible, but improbable, outcomes cause me to lose my focus on what God has set before me.
You move beyond our circumstances. Your power transcends odds ratios. Like Peter, when You call us to walk on the water, You give us the power to do so. And yet, like Peter, when we are distracted by fears of what may happen, we start to sink. (Matt. 14:26-31)
The last few days, I’ve been battling fears and anxieties. I’m looking at what’s going wrong rather than the One who makes things right. I’m sorry. I wish I had a good excuse to offer, but it’s simply a matter of having taken my eyes off You.
Sometimes, I think You must not care about the little things. As though You are too concerned with the bigger problems of the world and my petty problems just aren’t big enough to bring to You. And yet, You call me to bring all my cares and anxieties to You, trusting You with my heart and my mind, allowing You to bring me peace.
God, the last few days have felt anything but peaceful. I feel like I’ve been cycling through contingency plans, when all You’re calling me to do is rest in You. You know the future. You promise to work all things to good (Romans 8:28). I don’t have to try to second guess You or figure out what You’re doing or make sure that, no matter what, I have a plan B in place. I’m supposed to follow You, to know You, to be with You, to let You lead me.
Please forgive me for trying to relegate You to the role of co-pilot. Forgive me for trying to navigate on a path I don’t know. God, I want You to do Your job as Lord of my life. I’m sorry for treating You like some sort of puppet leader here only for show.