I’ve been struggling today. While I had a few moments alone in the car, I recognized a lot of areas in my life that leave me feeling uncertain, tentative, scared about what happens next. Like building blocks in the hands of toddlers, these anxieties pile up into a teetering tower until my focus is consumed by nothing more than trying to keep my balance.
Peter said to Him, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” And He said, “Come!” And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:28-31, NASB)
As I read this familiar story, I wondered if I would even have made it out of the boat. People can’t walk on top of the water. Anybody knows that. The surface tension is simply not strong enough to bear the weight of a person in the space of a footprint. Yet the laws of physics don’t limit the One who created them.
Like the airplane we saw preparing to land, still hundreds of feet up, yet the kids were amazed by its size, You are so much bigger than I expect You to be. Maybe for the same reason. I see myself failing and falling, but instead of reaching toward You, I try to doggy paddle until I’ve found my footing. If Peter had little faith, what does that mean for me?
I need You, Lord, in every area of my life–in all the big and little things that I wonder whether You even care about. Yet You are concerned with every detail that makes me, because You are concerned with me. You may not care whether I choose to wear a blue shirt or a red shirt today, but You care about how I’m feeling because of the choice I make. Help me to remember how important I am to You. Let me recognize how important it is to bring to You every little thing that leaves me feeling breathless and shaky, because I need Your perspective. It’s hard for me when I don’t understand, but help me to trust that You can see and know more than I ever will. And help me to stand strong in Your promise that You bring all things together for our good, no matter how good or bad they may look at the time (Romans 8:28).
It’s frightening for me to pray that, God. I worry that something big and bad is going to happen next that I especially will need Your grace to handle. I forget so easily that I need Your grace to handle EVERY day. I’m just not naturally gracious. I need You working through me in order to do all the things You call me to do. I need you for even the simple things like stepping out of a boat, so You can do miraculous things like allowing me to walk on water.