Fear and Failure

Not my words, but some that really resonate with me today:

Being afraid isn’t failure. Staying afraid is.

~ Jon Acuff

Read the rest of his post about the difference between these two here.

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My Idol

We’ve had two car accidents, a middle-of-the-night visit to the emergency room, required overtime hours for DH, and a difficult conversation with my boss. All in the last 10 days. Toss in some random financial difficulties and stir until crazy. I woke up this morning clenching my jaw as I thought about everything I’m feeling anxious over–which, sadly, has been most everything.

After I worried for a while, I started to pray. I prayed that God would give me a great big hug, then I prayed something surprising. I’m pretty sure I didn’t think it up all by myself. I prayed that I would better understand that when it feels like my world is crumbling to pieces around me, I can know that God is simply removing all the things I trust for security before I trust Him.

“Do not turn to idols or make metal gods for yourselves. I am the Lord your God.” (Leviticus 19:4, NIV)

Growing up in Sunday school, I always pictured idols as polished statues that people made and put up in their home or temple. It seemed awfully silly to me that they trusted their own handiwork to act in a way that would offer them some sort of protection or benefit. Yet, is it really so different to expect that by putting more money in the bank, we’ll have a better life? My own “metal gods” may not be hammered out of gold or silver, but I’m awfully quick to trust in the dollars and coins listed in my checkbook register. Money is so much more tangible and so much easier to put in little columns, adding the debits and the credits and seeing who wins. I always know where I stand with money–either there is enough or there’s not. With God, I have to believe that He is enough, even though I can’t see where He is or what He’s doing.

God,

I’m sorry for putting my faith in things that are fleeting. True security does not come from a full bank account or a reliable car or even good health. All of those things can suddenly break down, leaving me feeling lost and helpless. But You will not fail. You have said so (Lam. 3:32).  Help me to believe in You–even when You don’t do what I think You should. Help me to trust that Your understanding really is better than mine (Isaiah 55:9). Let me rest in Your perfect love for me.